Listening…Observing…Asking Questions

Preface: I was looking through my “notes” on Facebook and I came across this one that I copied and pasted from “The Libertarian Homeschooler’s blog” on March 30, 2013.

Post from “The Libertarian Homeschooler’s blog”:

“When we try to help people, the first thing we must do is shut up and listen. This applies to children as well.

Don’t assume. Don’t guess. Observe. Ask questions. Listen. Work as if you were a scientist. Listen and watch. Watch and listen. You must spend at least twice as much time listening to your child as your child spends listening to you. If you have trained them to be seen and not heard, you must undo that.

You must offer them confidentiality and security. They must be absolutely certain that you are on their side before they trust you. They must sense that they are known and understood and that their motivations are understood and respected. And when they trust you, you will cease to be the police in their lives and begin to be their ally and their confidant and their mentor. 

This is what you want. A relationship that is so intimate and accepting that the heart of your child turns towards you in confidence. That you are the soft place to land. That when they make a mistake they immediately come to you knowing you will help and commiserate and shelter and show mercy however you can.”

My comments:

I wish I had a URL to give you for proper credit.  If by any chance you know the URL where the following post can be found on that blog, please let me know and I can update my post.

There is much in the New Covenant Scriptures that supports the message communicated above.  One that comes to mind is James 1:19 — “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”  These would also be characteristic of someone who is living out the 2nd greatest commandment (Matthew 22:39), Jesus’ words that are often called “The Golden Rule” (Matthew 7:12) and the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Matthew 22: 37-40 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 7:12, Jesus said, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

Galatians 5:22-23  “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

In doing those things, I pray that I will be a reflection of my Savior so that all who encounter me will encounter Him and be drawn into His great, redeeming love.  Here are Paul’s words that resonate deeply with me: “But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” (Acts 20:24)  I begin with my husband, my children, my family and friends and work outward to all of my “neighbors” (the world).

Signing off: I pray that “the LORD bless you and keep you; May He make His face shine on you and be gracious to you!” (Numbers 6: 24-25)

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About thecrunchymamachronicles

I'm a woman obsessed with the amazing, everlasting, lavish, never-failing LOVE of the Heavenly Father through Jesus. It's my favorite thing to meditate on and to write about. His expression of love has radically transformed me from a joyless, miserable person to the me who is full of joy and love for others because of my radical identity as the beloved of God. I am devoted to my husband and to gently parenting our three boys with Jesus as my model of the ultimate gentle parent.
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